Monday, January 07, 2008

a ringing phone beside me



i walked into my room and took a deep breath with this half sort of smile. it was so beautiful ... everything neat and tidy and pictures and warm colors all around. i really have made a haven out of this little square of a room. carter 215. i plugged in my yellow and pink twinkle lights and pushed play to ingrid michaelson, unpacked just a few things and got in the shower. i can't figure out whether I'm happy to be back or not. break has left me content and peaceful and I am nervous to venture again into the world of alarm clocks and long tedious reading material. i'm scared I'll drown again in strings of writer's block sentences, the complexity of doctrine teaching, and the hustle of trying to fit in lunch somewhere between everything.

i'm lying on my bed trying to relax a bit, taking deep breaths about changing my schedule tomorrow. there's a couple of classes i need to drop and some i need to add and it's a bit crucial and the records office intimidates me and i just wish kyrie was sleeping with me tonight. but it's okay... because she will be back tomorrow and what a blessing this room is, this laptop, my bible and my shower and vincent and kiko and the multiple reunions of friends that have surrounded me today. i'm thankful and grateful the more I think about it for a nervousness because now I must trust God and I already feel his hand close beside whispering to be still. to know. he is able. these things are good... and what a blessing to spend this past week in south carolina, visiting friends and meeting good people, setting off my first firework and feeling the backfire of my first gun shot... what a happy week of many people and fellowship before school started back up, breathing in a healthy dose of reality. i am grateful right now and relieved to be sitting indian style on my bed right now with pink sheets underneath and a ringing phone beside me that says kyrie is calling.

3 comments:

scotch said...

welcome back!

Michael Kendall said...

i believe you meant south carolina...

scotch said...

hey- thanks for the visit last night. it was so good to see ya'll. please please PLEASE come down any time at all- use my kitchen, my sweet back deck, and my crappy vhs/dvd player. my house is your house. i think there is another way to say that in another language, but it escapes my mind right now.
oh, and thanks for the guac... my dad was most put out when he came out of hiding when everyone went home and there was none left. ha.