this week has been a whirlwind for me. early mornings (6:15!) and late nights with little or no breathing between. i'm not sure if this is a first-week thing or a rest-of-the-semester lifestyle. i'm hoping it's the former. reshaping my mentality is a rigorous activity. no more free evenings or joyously long lunches where i can revel in the goodness of a tomato sandwich. walking slow and not keeping a daily planner are such luxuries and i need to view them as such. that's what i'm in the business of doing right now: firmly bidding my summer goodbye and looking confidently ahead to the mountain in front of me. a mountain composed mostly of school textbooks, stubborn advisors, fluorescent lighting, class presentations, icy mornings, jarring relationships and my annoying overly analytical little mind. no looking back or living for the beautiful yesterdays. the future can be exciting and i know there is much to be learned and to grow from if only approached with the proper, open attitude. pray for my anxious spirit to settle into this place. i feel so discontent and flighty mostly all the time; ready to pack my bags at a moment's notice. but this is where i am right now. i need to get my heart here too.
i was flipping through my notebook today and came across a passage i had scribbled in varying sizes and fonts that made me smile: a joyful heart is good medicine. discontentment is a sickness sort of and the cure is a joyful heart. not joyful because it's saturday, not joyful because i have a perfect roomate, not joyful because i love my 4:00 class on wednesday and fridays or because it's raining right now but because i am a child of God and He is planning out my life step by step and knows exactly the reasons for each of my discouragements and heartbreaks and my painful minutes of utter confusion.
i need to stand on a rock.
-Kyrie