dance dance dance

Well, last night I went to my dance audition. Wow, those girls are just like my teacher said. Very competitive and cold and spiteful and just rude. its ok, i guess- they dont hurt my feelings even if they do that body scan thing and then roll their eyes..(yeah, see what i mean) Anyway for those of you who would like to here my story about the dance festival i went to i will start, it may bore you though...;

...after many tears and confusion and wrong turns i ended up in the auxilary gym #1 where scholarship auditions would begin in ten minutes. i rolled down my tights and slipped on my ballet shoes and started to stretch. several hundred girls all dressed in a black leotard with pink tights and hair back in a tight bun were seen in every direction; all stretching there bodies in ways i dont care to explain, heh. minutes later this woman came prancing into the room on her toes. "I....am Linda Ftitzgerald (yes, thats how you spell it)...president emmeritus of Maryland Council for Dance!!! she was very tall and bold and intimidating and she made me feel nervous like i didnt know what she was gonna do next. she motioned us to "rise" and we lined up in rows of 20 or 30 across the floor. we started the modern audition which lasted about 30 minutes consisting of strange turns and bends and just wierdness that felt like african tribal dances. here comes the bad part. a woman named Barclay Pease came next and she was our ballet instructor. we again lined up, strechted a little more and did some basic barre work. Barclay showed us the most confusing combination which included triple pirouettes, balancing in arabesque, two double side leaps, double foites, and double pique turns. (i know you didnt understand any of that but basically just hard stuff) and many other ballet moves iv never seen. we then were divided into groups of four according to our audition number. i was #18. i didnt realize that the combination she had just shown us was what we would be doing in front of a panel of judges just moments later. after 1,2,3 and 4 for danced across the floor with pleasant faces and dang perfectness i started to get a little nervous. 5,6,7 and 8 did the same, a flawless performance, as well as 9,10,11, and 12. I knew it was my turn soon and i got that dreaded lump in my throat and began feeling intensly over heated. i knew i'd go out and make a fool of myself. i wasnt concentrating hard enough during the instructions and my thoughts started racing as my body temperature went up further. i could not help my self and i just became a crying mess. all the girls were still doing "the body scan" and i felt so alone and nervous and shaky along with every other negative emotion that one can feel in .2 seconds. 13, 14, 15 and 16 were called to deck while the judges finished up their scoring for the previous four. i could not do the combination and the only thought in my head was- leave chalice, leave! if you just slip out the door no one will notice-. and that's exactly what i did. i made a rash decision that still haunts me. i knew when my number was called i would go out there and cry so hard in front of the judges while every one was staring at me and i was not doing what Barclay had demonstrated. i inched my way out of room, turned the corner and leaned against a brick wall and just cried so hard. i cried for like ten minutes all by myself even to the point where i could hardly breath..(you know that cry) i pulled myself together and walked to the locker room. i grabbed some tissues and took a look in the mirror. (bad idea) as i was walking out my aunt dawn was walking down the hall to pick me up. we rode home and i didnt really say much. i was really tired and worn out and just beat. james and i worked on a puzzle and i got a couple refreshing laughs. then i headed upstairs for bed.
...yeah....
Today was much better..i took a contemporary jazz class, a carribean class,(thats like island dancing, hahaha) a ballet class, and a couple point classes. those were better. you could work more at your own pace and really just learn. all the girls were the same. no one would make eye contact or dare say anything. two girls that did talk to me were in my beginners point class named Jenna and Rhonda and they were 10 and 11. real sweet and perky and nice girls. they havent quite hit that competitive age yet, they still have fun in dance and they know how to be nice. i liked them. mom and ida found me in the cafeteria (at my own table) and we walked down to the auditiorium to see the show. man it was awesome but thats a whole nother blog entry. it was exilerating like Aida or something and it was a pleasant way to end the day. ill blog about that later maybe. so i was very happy with today and i learned much and jenna and rhonda are blessed. it was nice to smile. tomorrow i have hip-hop fusion, funk tap, and broadway tap. hope its fun. im looking forwards to going to EP too. i will surely be surrounded by much more friendly people.
i really dont like my writing so just bear with me. it doesnt flow well and i just forget to add so many little details that paint a picture in your head, so to speak. im working on it...